Because of the humbling response to yesterday’s blog, I wanted to do a little follow-up this morning. Hearing your input and rereading my post makes me wish I had said even more…but there’s so much to be said! I told you…this would be much easier as just a conversation over coffee in my living room! 🙂
I’m not all about behavior modification. I’m much more concerned about what’s going on in your heart. A heart that has fallen in love with Jesus will naturally want obey Him. The better you know Him and the more time you spend with Him, the more naturally these things will come. Moms – please don’t simply emphasize the “dos and don’ts”. Train your daughters to fall in love with Jesus, study the Word with them, pray for them, and explain the “whys” to the boundaries.
Your outward appearance should simply reflect what’s already going on on the inside. A friend sent me a quote that I thought was helpful…
“Our clothes should never scream, ‘ Look at me!’, but rather, ‘ I want you to meet HIM.'”
I certainly feel inadequate in covering this topic, so I wanted to put some more resources in your hands if you’re interested in being more equipped. Please take some time and check them out! They do a much better job than I do!
- Dannah Gresh’s Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty – http://www.purefreedom.org/bookSecretKeeper.htm
- Hayley DiMarco’s Sexy Girls: How Hot is Too Hot? – http://www.amazon.com/Sexy-Girls-How-Hot-Too/dp/0800730844
- Helpful 7-part more in-depth blog -http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/blogs/cj-mahaney/category/Modesty.aspx
Here are some simple modesty “checks” that I share with my girls and do myself ( some of these taken from Dannah Gresh)…
- Raise and Praise – Raise your hands high in the air. Any belly showing?
- Hill and Valley – Place your hand between your “hills”. If you fingers spring back like a trampoline, your shirt is probably too tight.
- Grandpa/Mirror – Try sitting or bending in different positions in front of a full length mirror. Pretend your Grandpa, Pastor, etc, is the mirror. Would he be blushing from what he sees?
- Under where? – Any underwear showing? Bra straps, tops of panties, panty lines, etc?
- Bend Over – Does your crack kill? (Let’s face it, that’s not even attractive.) Sneak peek down your shirt?
A few ideas that have been helpful for me…
- “Wife-beaters” and stretchy camisoles – I like low-rise pants because I think they flatter me best, BUT they make it difficult to pass the “checks”. Most every day for years, I’ve worn either a “wife-beater” (long guys’ undershirt) or a long, stretchy camisole tucked in under my shirts. Not only does this prevent from showing belly or crack, it also helps with shirts that would otherwise be too low or see-through. *In college, I actually had guy friends notice that my friends and I did this…and they thanked us for it.
- Size up – Don’t be afraid to buy clothes a size bigger than normal if they’re too tight. If it bothers you that much, rip out the tag or write your preferred size overtop of it. 😉
- Ask yourself why – I STILL need to ask myself this question. Just because I’m married, doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with wanting to be found attractive by others. I HAVE to be honest w/myself about why I’m wearing what I’m wearing. (Dressing attractively vs. dressing to attract) Let the Holy Spirit be your mirror.
- Stick together – While in college, my roommate and I would often check each other and call each other out when needed. Usually if we even had to question an outfit, it was probably not a good one to pick. My husband is a good one for me to ask now!
- Cute, flattering, modest Bathing Suits DO exist! – I always felt like I was in limbo between modest “grandma” one-pieces and the immodest bathing suits that were more in-style. I found this site a few years ago and was really impressed by it. The suits are pricey (I’m a pastor’s wife, so anything more than Ross or T.J. Max priced bathing suit makes me swallow my tongue.), but they do run sales and I’ve found their suits to be super good quality and worth the money. I bought one suit 3 years ago that I’m still wearing. Last year, I waited until I could found a top on sale that matched the bottoms I already had. I highly recommend them! http://www.limericki.com/WOMEN
I hope some of this was helpful! Know that I’m praying for you today!