A few days ago these were the words that kept running through my head. It’s not a new battle. I’ve heard these lies before.
My husband and I have been called to minister and serve at a little church plant. Every once in a while I have a little time to write a little something on a little blog that has a VERY little following. I’m at stay-at-home mom that spends her days with little people, feeding little mouths and wiping little butts and getting little thanks or recognition or paycheck (okay, no paycheck).
There are days in my flesh and pride and temporal perspective when I long for more. You know, for more of the BIG things. Immediate results without the blood, sweat, tears, and waiting. Recognition and respect. Significance and success. I want to know that what I’m doing matters. That God is pleased. In a sense, I found myself crying out for a bigger and more significant “mouth” for Him. I wanted to be like a blazingly bright, loud, and flashy billboard that screamed the glory of God’s name…but, unfortunately, that at least had my name in some kind of bold font, too…you know, toward the bottom.
And the enemy saw my guard down and pounced with his lies.
You’re not good enough.
You should be more like them.
You are defined by what others’ say about you.
You need to defend yourself, prove yourself, promote yourself.
What you’re doing doesn’t really matter.
Like a broken record, the melody of these accusations played over and over again and a familiar fear of failure offered it’s melancholy harmonies.
Until Psalm 8 interjected a screeching halt to the repetitious, condemning, and self-centered song.
“Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is YOUR name in all the earth!
You have set YOUR glory
in the heavens.
Through the praise of children and infants
YOU have established a stronghold against your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.”
Through the praise of children and infants.
The Hebrew used here is actually better translated as “young children (toddlers) and nursing babies”. Little mouths. Insignificant mouths. Weak mouths.
These are the mouths that give praise to His glory? The mouths through which He establishes a stronghold against His enemies? Little mouths that don’t talk well or can’t talk at all?!
Our 18 month old, Jack, isn’t talking much yet. Compared to his big brothers, who seemed to come out of the womb speaking full sentences, our littlest boy has only a handful of regularly used words. He understands what we’re saying and can follow our directions, but communicates with gestures and cries, grunts and squeals, babbles and pointed fingers, and a very limited vocabulary. If he’s upset or has been wronged by his big brothers, he’s fairly helpless to express or defend himself. And it’s hard to be self-promoting when you can’t even say your own name.
But yet this is the picture David chose to use in Psalm 8. It is through these seemingly insignificant, weak mouths that God chooses to reveal His majesty. Through which he silences the enemy.
Our little Jack sings with joy and dances with abandon. He squeals with delight and laughs without a hint of worry. He cries out to the ones who know him and will meet his needs. He rests and follows and trusts. And his little being makes a BIG deal of his mom and dad whom he adores.
This is what I am called to. Not to seek the big, but to follow and be obedient in the little. Not to worry about the next step, but confidently trust the One Who holds me. Not to defend or vindicate myself, but to trust the One Who sees and hears and judges. Not to be confident and qualified and in control, but to be aware of my weakness and inadequacies and unworthiness. Not to toil and strive after other things to define my value or success or acceptance, but to set my eyes on the One who gave His life to graciously provide all of those things to me in Him. Not to seek recognition or praise, but to gratefully and joyfully and adoringly give it to the only One with the name worthy of it.
God is most LOUDLY glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him alone.
“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. IT IS BECAUSE OF HIM that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become FOR US wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.'”
1 Corinthians 1:26-31